Save Me
by lilrennfairegirl
Summary: Shuuhei is broken can Kensei help or will he make things worse for shuuhei? Rated M for later chapters! this is a yaoi fic so if you don't like that please don't read! If you do please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : This is my first Fanfic and it is a Kensei/Shuuhei yaoi story set after the war with Aizen but before Kensei comes back to be captain also just a fair warning chapters might not come out on a regular basis I lead a busy life but I will try my hardest to not make you wait to long. I would also like to thank my new Beta for helping me out your the best *hugs***

 **Warnings: Nothing to bad just some bad language and references to alcoholism (just a bit)**

Chapter 1

It was a quiet night in soul society, and most of the soul reapers, that were not on night duty, were sound asleep. All but one, that is. Shuuhei Hisagi could be found in his ninth division officer quarters, bent over his desk, signing paperwork by a single light, just bright enough to see by.

Most of his close friends, hell even his squad members, knew he could be found here almost ever night.

His squad members figured he wanted to get a head start on the next days paperwork,or even work on the Seireitei bulletin. He did had a reputation for being a workaholic, even he could admit that, but he really had no choice in the matter, since his captain defected, leaving him to bear the full load of the divisions responsibilities. Despite his own plight,and issues, concerning his captains death, he would put those aside for the sake of his division. Still, close friends knew better. Shuuhei couldn't hide the truth from them, as well as he did his squad members. He couldn't hide the darkening circles framing his forest green orbs,or the once strong muscles,now becoming limp,and frail. Anyone paying attention could see this wasn't usual over exertion. Still, whenever he would be approached about his weakening state,he maintained his usual distant,empty response. Always claiming he was fine,or just over worked.

Shuuhei was plagued by nightmares almost every night, that started just after he got back from the replica karakura town. Every smell,sight,scream,all the blood,and torment, it burned in his mind. He remembered it all,and relived it whenever he shut his eyes. At first, it made him sick, seeing his former captain die at his own hands. Initially, he tried to sooth the night terrors, by the warm amnesia caused by a bottle of sake. If he wasn't working, he was drinking. Yet, even in the blissful ignorance of alcohol, he couldn't run from the images. All he got from drinking was his face in a toilet, a killer headache, and the same sickening, never ending, images. He didn't need the gentle reprimand from his elders, like Captain Jushiro. The vivid images alone made him sicker than the sake,and the sake brought the images alive. They were no longer just pictures in his head, they were realistic hallucination. Every sense was at work, the taste of iron mingled on his tongue, a layer of dirt,and blood stuck to his skin,screeching ringing in his ears. His sword running through his former captain was always the realist aspect of the images playing in his head. His hand's trembling on his hilt,as he watched the light leave his eyes. It was way too much for one person to deal with on their own,and,yet that was the only way he chose to deal with it, he could not,and would not let someone else bare the burden of his captain's betrayal. As the lieutenant, he felt the responsibility fell on him alone,even if it meant suspicion from other squads. Perhaps, he felt like he should of saw it coming, or that there was something he could of done,either way, he felt almost deserving of the anguish he carried. Sadly, It wasn't just blood and gore that kept him from sleeping. It was the man he thought was dead ..Kensei. As if to add insult to injury, images of silver hair, amber eyes,broad chest,and the tall stature of his childhood savior, wouldn't let his mind rest. He was the reason he aspired to be a soul reaper,and the reason he got the damn tattoo on his face. When he was told that his childhood savior was gone,and wasn't going to come back,he had locked away his gratitude,and affection for the man. Still, after seeing his "hero" on the battlefield, all those once forgotten feelings poured out of every hidden fiber of Shuuhei's being. Affection filled his every cell,and shook his core.

It was laughable,really! Here Shuuhei was, a grown man,and lieutenant of the one,and only squad he ever wanted to be in,and he wasn't happy,or complete. In fact, he felt utterly empty. He was broken,and he knew it, yet he chose to ignore it for the betterment of his squad. If it was the last thing he'd do, he would hold him self together, ignoring every last crack in his foundation, until he crumbled. He wouldn't let his squad down, he just couldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone i am back for my second chapter sorry for the short first chapter it kind or reminded me of a drabble but don't worry this is a multi chapter fic i am just trying to get some character development going for you all. I personally hate it when two characters just end up together because the auther wants them to be( in my mind ken/shu is practicly in the manga already i mean that moment on the battlefield when Shuuhei sees Kensei wow) and even though these two hotties need to be together it will take them awhile to get there so bare with me for a little while!**

 **A/N2: I just want to iron some things out that might or might not have offended anyone in my first a/n! I love drabbles and one shots my mind automatically buts the two main characters together and it is wonderful instant gratification for me! And I love it! My problem is with multi chapter fics that lack in either character development and/or plot If you are lacking in one area I will ask you for more! I will do the same for you as well if you ask but I will not forsake one in favor of the other just saying :)**

 **I want to thank my beta ashesofthefirststar for helping be out again you so totally rock! *hugs***

 **Warnings: bad language, a little bit of Kensei style violence**

 **Chapter 2**

" _Kennnnsssseeeiiii~" Mashiro called._

The door to Kensei's room was thrown wide open,and the green haired menace propelled herself at the prone form of her former captain. Only to find herself face down on the mattress, with her hands pinned behind her back. The woman blinked several times in surprise, then recovered herself quickly.

"Oh, you're awake." She proclaimed happily, even though she was still pinned to the mattress. A wicked glint sparked in her eyes, one a sleepy Kensei had missed.

"I am now." Kensei replied in a gruff voice,and pushed some of his weight down on Mashiro's hands. "Kami! How many times do I have to tell you, women? Don't fucking wake me up by trying to attack me!" Kensei growled,and pushed off the bed, deciding it was best to focus on waking up, instead of wasting time with Mashiro's games.

The green haired women pouted, started rolling on the bed,and wailing, like a child throwing a temper tantrum. "Kensei, you never wake up unless I do this ...stuppppidddd Kensei stupid stupid."

Kensei's eye twitched in annoyance at the childish behavior of his former lieutenant. "Would you knock it off!? Damn it,It's way to early to be dealing with your crazy ass!" Kensei yelled through muffled yawns. As if to prove his point, Kensei couldn't stop the massive yawn that was ripped from him. He sighed in aggravation, as the women continued with her childish display, because like a child, if she heard him,she didn't care.

"Just ignore her, man" Shinji cajoled, as he leaned his body on the door frame to Kensei's room. "You know she does this just to annoy you." The blond visored continued on,trying to reason with his irritated friend " ... you would think after over a hundred years you would have learned that." Shinji mumbled, not wanting the silver haired man to hear him. Unfortunately Kensei did, he sent the blond a withering look,that had the man stepping back,and raising his hands in a placating manner. Kensei's temper was like a stick of dynamite, a short fuse, with a deathly blast. Even Shinji was smart enough to know, you don't play in a blast zone.

"Look man, I just came to tell you, we have a visitor,and we all need to be there to listen to what they have to say." Shinji grumbled, and looked away with a scowl on his face. By the tone of his voice, Kensei could tell he wasn't happy about this 'visitor.'

"Fine, lets get this over with then." Kensei replied,and walked out of the room,with his hands shoved in his pockets. On his heels were Shinji,and Mashiro, who came only after she noticed her audience was gone.

The visitor turned out to be a representative for the captain commander, informing them of a meeting that was suppose to take place in soul society the following day. The man delivered his message,and then promptly left. If he would have stayed any longer, Kensei was sure the man would be questioning his superiors logic in requesting them to come to the soul society. For they were a rag tag group at first glance. The reaction of his fellow visoreds were varied,yet predictable. Hiyori started yelling,and throwing things, Shinji tried to calm her down by yelling back at her, and only succeeded in making her more angry. On the bright side, Kensei got to see him get hit in the head with a book, that was always fun. Lisa only looked up from her magazine,and shrugged,but Kensei noticed the darkened look in her eyes,as she went back to reading. Rose,and Love remained quiet,but contemplative!.Hachi looked sad, yet hopeful. Mashiro looked like she didn't have a care in the world,probably because she didn't, as she kicked her legs back,and forth,with a serene smile on her face.

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Kensei sighed,and furrowed his brow,as he thought about earlier that day, and the upcoming meeting. Kensei had been livid at first, not about the meeting itself,although that was something to worry about, it was the manner in which the message was given. Though, it was never explicitly said, the messenger made it clear that attendance was mandatory. After the soul society ostracized him, he conceded to never be anyones trained dog. Yet, there he was, they snapped their fingers, and he jumped. After the messenger left, he went back to his room, slammed his door shut,and locked it, in hopes to be left alone. Surely, he felt a little childish, but he didn't want his comrades being helpless victims to his short fuse. Despite how it may look, Kensei cared for them deeply. Thankfully not even Mashiro would bother him when he got this mad. Even though, her favorite pass time was getting under his skin, she knew messing with him now was a death wish.

His hollow stirred at the familiar sensation of rage. The silver haired man closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. It wouldn't do any of them any good if he couldn't control himself. Kensei sighed again,as his hollow calmed down. Tachikaze took to reprimanding the hollow,and Kensei for getting worked up over nothing. Considering his hallow fed on Kensei's rage, he was unable to see logic once things went red. Though, he could control the hallow well, he could never kill the rage it breaded. Despite his zonpakuto pleads, he couldn't calm his mind. Even without the clouded judgment of rage, he knew this wasn't 'nothing'. There were a slew of possibilities that could come of tomorrows meeting, and that alone was enough to enrage the man. Kensei hated not feeling in control, he hated having to put trust in a system that failed him. Mostly, he hated not knowing if he'd be able to protect his adopted family, there were to many interchanging variables. True, part of him wanted to see his old home, his old division, his old friends,yet the other part of him wanted nothing to do with any of it. He just couldn't trust them, when they'd already proven how easily they'd abandon them. Wasn't the help they offered enough? As his mind did so often lately,his thoughts went back to that kid, whom so brazenly had "his" number tattooed on his face. Kensei grimaced at the idea of this kid with his number etched into their skin. Especially not _that_ kid. Kensei didn't always pride him self on being the smartest, but It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who the young man was. Though, despite the punk being so bold and presumptuous, he was also audacious, meaning, he had some balls, all right. Not only that, but he had the skills to back up the confidence, he was strong, very strong. An all around warrior, with the resolve needed of a man who desired to don his numbers. Kensei felt a sly grin pull at his lips, as he reminisced about the kid. Some how, the thought of this kid could settled down the hallow, lulling it into complacency. Even Tachikaze was calm, as he continued to think about the young man with dark hair,and eucalyptus eyes. Something about him brought out Kensei's docile side, though he wasn't sure why. That made him all the more upset, when he thought of how upset Shuuhei had been on the , he tried to hide it, it was clear the kid was hurt by Kensei's declaration of having no one he needed to talk to. He hadn't meant for his words to be hurtful in any wanted his words to convey how proud he was of him, proud that the kid had grown up to be a strong warrior. Mostly, he was proud that this kid was the silver lining to that god awful day, the day that altered Kensei's life forever. In hindsight, he could have predicted that look. He thought back to how much it would irk him when the boy would cry. Still,he wouldn't stop, even when Kensei told him to smile. It would only annoy him so badly, because he wanted the kid to be strong,and live happily. Still, it seemed the man,and the boy were one in the same. Kensei's words alone made the soul reaper look like a kicked puppy. He was still the same boy, with the same latent sadness. Which just angered the man, non of this mattered if Shuuhei wasn't even happy, he was the silver lineing in all this shit. So, he had to be happy, he just had to be. Seeing that sadness on Shuuhei's face made him want to go over to the man,and smack some sense into him, until he got it, that he needed to be happy, he was alive, so he needed to be happy.

He thought back to when he learned of Tousen's demise,admittedly, he was happy about it. It pleased him to see the young man Shuuhei had turned into. More so, he was proud that he was able to defeat that treasonous asshole of a fifth seat. Yet, his pride wouldn't let him show that, he'd be damned. Instead, Kensei fell back on the one emotion he could lean on, Anger. No matter what the situation, if it made him uncomfortable,his rage would bubble up. So, he got upset that he didn't get to kill those scumbags himself. As a result, he gave the traumatized boy the cold shoulder, to busy brooding to realize the effect killing his mentor might have on Shuuhei. So stupid. If he had been paying a bit more attention to his surroundings, instead of his anger, he would have noticed the haunted look in the young man's eyes. He could have assessed that Tousen's,and Aizen's treachery reached deep into Shuuhei's psyche, infusing him with an inescapable , he didn't notice. Even when Tachikaze,and his hollow had scolded him for his actions, which never happened.

Kensei didn't do mushy feelings, because his sense of pride always invoked rage. As if, having emotions was something to be ashamed of. Instead, he chose to throw his weight around, putting on the impenetrable macho man act. He alway had, and he was sure he always would. His friends,and fellow visored knew this better than anyone. If anything good ever happened, Kensei would clam up tighter than a drum,and start walking around in a huff, ready to insult anyone who dared breath in his direction. In his mind, them talking could some how make Shuuhe just vanish . It was irrational, he knew it, but to many bad things had happened, that he didn't think anything good would stay long enough for him to enjoy it. Unfortunately for Shuuhei, he was a shining beacon of all that was good in Kensei's world. For this reason, Kensei ignored him. It was irrational, and stupid, but that was how Kensei operated. He just couldn't help himself. Sighing, he rolled onto his side, trying to rid his mind of the boy,and get to sleep. Tomorrow would be a long day,and he needed rest if there was any chance of him keeping his composure.

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Down the hall from Kensei's room, Mashiro could be found laying in bed, using her reiatsu to sense the turmoil in her fellow housemates. Most noticeably agitated was her former captain. She giggled to herself. _Oh Kensei, what a piece of work_ She loved getting under the man's skin, and if she was right, she knew exactly what was causing his frustration. She liked to think that she could read the silver haired man pretty well. So, she would bet anything that,at this moment, he was thinking about the young man they had both seen on the battle cutie with her captains numbers etched on his face. Still, she had to wonder why this guy would have her caption's number on his face. Always being a little slow on the upstart, it had taken her a bit longer to put the pieces together. Soon, she realized the young man was the boy Kensei had saved all those years ago. Knowing Kensei as well as she did, she knew his rough attitude towards the young soul reaper meant he was happy. Admittedly, she liked giving him a hard time because she knew he had the emotional maturity of a peanut. She knew Kensei too well. Perhaps, more so than the others. She knew how much the man, who usually dawned a permanent scowl, really did care about them. She also knew how much he had cared for the young man, who's name escaped her for a moment. "Shuuhei Hisagi" she proclaimed to her self. She couldn't help,but to grin widely. She knew something fun was about to happen. Though,she didn't know what was coming, she couldn't wait to see the looks on both her captain's,and the young man's faces when it did.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello all I am back! I didnt think I would be able to but this many chapters up so quickly I know it's only three chapters and the story is only getting started but with the holidays coming up soon I might not be able to update regularly so I wanted to get this out there! It's a monster of a chapter so I hope you like it! I will try to get another chapter out but I can't make any promises. I want to thank my lovely beta ashesofthefirststar for fixing up my mess, you are loved. I also wanted to thank the few that followed and favorited my story it means alot to me so keep them coming! Cyber hugs to you all!**

 **Warnings: Nothing to bad just the conitnued bad language**

Kisuke Urahara sat pensively outside of his shop, quietly sipping a cup of tea. As the dawn broke,and the sun rose against the hazy blue sky, other shop owners were starting to set up. Fresh risen, the heat of the sun had not yet evaporated the thin layer of fog that had rolled in during the night. It was a rather picturesque scene to take in. Combining the beautiful day break with the heavenly mixture of aromas coming from the bakery,and coffee shop a block away, it was almost tantalizing enough for the habitually laid back Uraharah to entertain the thought of sitting back,and doing nothing. Unfortunately, though most could bask in the beauty of the day, the shop owner thoughts were preoccupied. The usually playful soul reaper sighed,and went to take another sip of tea, only to find his cup was empty. He turned slightly to call for another cup,but stopped upon seeing the fresh cup of tea sitting on a tray behind him. The sight brought a small smile to his face. Leave it to Tessei to know what he needed, when he needed it, without words ever being exchanged. "Thank you,Tessei" Kisuke mumbled,grateful for such a friend during these complicated times

Tessei's reply came in the form of a silent smile,as the shop assistant knew he was thanking him for more than just the tea. Really,there were no words his childhood friend,and shop assistant, needed to say. Kisuke picked up his new cup,and gave the top a light blow before taking a sip. A slight frown pulled at his lips, marking his features with a sulk, as he thought about the upcoming meeting his fellow ex-soul reapers,and friends had in just a few hours. Kisuke,and Tessei were both aware this day could only hide from view for so long, now the other shoe was dropping. Captain- Commander, Yamamoto,had come to a decision. Now, shit was about to hit the proverbial fan, and the only question was, what would become of the visordes after this. They just didn't know what the outcome would be, either way, lives would be effected forever.

Kisuke scoffed. His sneaky,and cleaver nature gave the impression that, Urahara had the low down on everything. For good reasons, seeing as he always had his fingers in the affairs of the soul society, manipulating things from behind the scene, While it was true, he had a general idea of what was going on around him,even more true was, he just could not read Captain Yamamoto. The man was an enigma, seeming to contradict him self, at one moment, the head captain could be understanding,and generous, even caring. The next moment, he would be as hard and, implacable as seki-seki stone. One thing Kisuke knew for certain, the head captain based his decisions solely on what he felt would keep the soul society safe,yet that was no comfort to the shopkeeper. Their ideology on what it meant to protect the soul society differed,and collided. He might see the visords as central 46 did, just hollows that needed to be ratified. Even worst, he could throw them in prison as traitors, leaving them there to rot for centuries. Kisuke could only hope for the best, that he will come to the decision to extend an olive branch, much like he did with Ichigo. The first two possibilities didn't sit well with the ex-captain,and he could guess how the visoreds would feel. Yet, even the most peaceful solution got the shopkeeper thinking about an entire new set of problems. How would the visoreds react to it? Most of them were level headed enough to at least think it through but some of them, Hiyori,and Kensei to be exact, were a bit more volatile. Thinking of his fireball of a former lieutenant, made him smile fondly, regardless of his train of thought. She was a spirited girl, ablaze with passionate rage,tied up in a miniature package. He knew what her reaction would be, she was impatient,and hot headed, so he hoped one of the others would step in to keep her calm.

Kensei was a different matter all together. Most of the time, he was well behaved, except when he was being a sour puss, and dependable. His time as a captain had helped in that regard. The problem with the silver haired visord was, his hollow. According to Shinji, even after a hundred years, none of them had perfected control over their hollows. Kensei had the hardest time, his lack of control,or acceptance over his emotions, made him prone to give into the hollows rage,and the hollows rage only made it more difficult for him to accept his emotions. It was a seemingly inescapable cycle. Shinji had jokingly called the man emotionally defective, while Kisuke had laughed at the time, he wasn't laughing now. Kensei needed to keep his hollow under control today, otherwise any hope of peace between the visoreds,and the soul reapers would vanish.

It seemed like that time had come. He could feel the ex-soul reapers approaching. In response, he carefully let his reiatsu out, testing the air surrounding the group. He sighed to himself swiftly, concealing his reiatsu back, when he sensed the relatively controlled temperament from the group. Not having control over a situation was a difficult pill to swallow. Those eight had learned that lesson a long time ago,and they weren't feeling particularly trusting,or amicable right now, they were determined to get this meeting over with,and have the ball back in their court. He just had to hope the head captain would let that happen.

Kisuke face donned a sly grin, at the sight of the approaching group rounding the corner. He quickly put down his cup of tea, waiting for them to approach.

"Kisuke." Shinji proclaimed in a dull tone, while not looking at the man in front of him.

"Good morning Shinji, Love, Rose, Lisa, Hachi, Mashiro, Kensei, how are yo-" Kisuke greeted each one of the visoreds but was suddenly interrupted by Hiyori's round house kick to the face.

"You forgot me,dumbass." Hiyori yelled.

Rubbing his now sore cheek bone, he spoke in a placid manner. "I see some thing's never change." Giving the girl a coy smile, he continued. "I didn't forget you Hiyori, I was merely saving you for last because you're special." the shopkeeper pleaded with the little visoreds vanity, knowing it was the quickest way to get her to calm down.

"She's special alright, a special kind of crazy" Shinji scoffed, as Urahara shook his head in dismay. _Five minuets,and his plan was already out the window,_ he thought to himself, as Hiryori aimed her kick.

"Shut up baldy! No one asked for your opinion ,idiot!" Hiyori yelled,and stalked over to smack him with her shoe.

The familiar scene put a smile on Kisuke's face,but the normalcy was shattered rather quickly by a punctuated sigh ,that had Kisuke whipping out his fan to hide his grimace. As he looked towards Kensei, he eyed his tense posture. Even though,the man was staunchly looking away, Kisuke could tell Kensei was still in control,he just wanted to get moving.

"As they say, theres no time like the present. Let's get moving, shall we?" Kisuke said in a falsely cheerful voice. He waved for the group, as he turned around, and lowered his fan,snapping it shut. He led them to his underground training grounds, where Yoruichi Shihoin was waiting for them. She greeted the group with a nod of her head,and looked at Kisuke somewhat somberly.

"It's time." she stated, as the shop keeper nodded in reply, turning to the group behind him.

"This senkaimon." He pointed to the structure behind him. "Will take you directly to the Captain-Commander himself. No one else is to know you are there-" He started to explain,but was interrupted again, this time by Hachi.

"That will be very difficult, Kisuke. We were all told to leave our gigai's here,and you know, as soon as we set foot into the dangai, squad twelve will know. When we leave, our reiatsu will give us away,being so close to the Captain-Commander, others are sure to come to his aid." Hachi stated, looking to Kisuke for the answer, only he wasn't the one who spoke up first.

"Don't worry Hachi,the Captain-Commander has taken care of squad twelve for now. So, there is no need to worry about traveling through the dangai,as for entering into the soul society well ...that's what these are for." Yoruichi replied, drawing the attention of the group, while holding up a cloak, and modified limiter cuffs. "With these,the only one that will be noticed with the Captain-Commander is me." The ware-cat smiled,and continued. "I have been there enough that no one will think twice about it,and just to be safe,I will raise my own reiatsu to block out any power that gets past these measures." She winked at the big man,and tossed them all a pair of cuffs,and a cloak. The group examined their new gear;the cloaks all had the Shihoin family symbol on them, while the cuffs just looked like bracelets,or wristbands. They looked nothing like the usual ones the soul society used on criminals. They considered that a good oman. There was no way in hell they would go to the captain- commander looking like common criminals, even if they technically were. The group of visoreds all had superb control over there reiatsu, but some of the hollow power still leaked out. So, once they put the limiters on,they immediately could feel the difference in there power output. Upon donning the cloaks, unless you saw them, you wouldn't even know they were there.

"Now, if you are all ready, I will open the gate." Kisuke shouted in a loud sing song voice,that got him a blend of reaction from the group before him. Most just ignored his antics, Shinji rolled his eyes, while adverting them. Hiyori mumbled to herself, something about 'stupid shopkeepers being annoying', and Kensei just scowled at him. Sighing, the always strange,and cryptic shopkeeper proceeded to open the gate.

"Hold on a second, Kisuke." Everyone but Kisuke turned,and looked at the new comer.

"Welcome, Isshin. I see you finally made it. What can I do for you?" Kisuke asked, with a smile on his face.

"Cut the crap,Kisuke, it's better for someone else to open the gate for these folks!" Isshin Kurosaki stated, crossing his arms across his broad chest.. "You might be smart,but you sure tend to leave out some important details when no one thinks to ask!" Isshin concluded honestly, as he walked past the group,and stood next to Kisuke.

Kisuke traded his usually comical nature,for a more angelic temperament. Throwing him the purest,most uncorrupted, smile to ever be faked. "What are you talking about,Isshin? I sensed you coming,and was trying to stall long enough for you to get here. I wasn't going to let them start the journey, not until I informed them of the time limit. I might be a teensy bit of a prankster,but I am not that mean!" Kisuke smiled wickedly, hidden behind his fan momentarily.

"Uh-huh,sure" Isshin replied in disbelief,and without any further waiting,he unsheathed his sword,and struck forward the tip. Seeming to disappear into nothing, the sword commanded the door to open. Upon opening, nine hell butterflies flew out from the open doorway. "Looks like the Captian-Commader is trying to make your journey as easy as possible." Isshin commented, before turning his attention back to the visoreds. "Still, don't stay in to long. Remember, the cleaner is gone, so the time difference is more noticeable." The former captain of the tenth squad cautioned.

"Thank you Isshin. Kisuke, we will be back as soon as we can." Yoruichi stated in a cheerful voice,while shooting a side ways glance at the two former captain. With that, she disappeared into the door way, the visoreds following quietly,while the last sound Kensei,and Isshin heard was another long sigh from Kensei. Weather it was to calm himself, or a sign of hostility, they were unsure of. All they could do was hope for the best.

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At the sound of fluttering wings, Shuuhei looked up from his paper work, while he waited for the hell butterfly to land on his finger.

"All captains,and lieutenants are hereby summoned to an emergency meeting with Captain-Commander Yamamoto,I repeat all captain and lieutenants are summoned to an emergency meeting with the Captain-Commander."

Shuuhei sighed, stood up from his chair, stretched, and called for his third seat. Taking a moment longer to get his body loosened, his back,and neck muscles popped as he twisted arthritic form. His addiction with work had started causing debilitating effects, leaving his body creaky. Head spinning, he realized he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. By the time Suzuki Nobu entered his office, Shuuhei had pulled himself together,and wasted no time in ordering the young man to have the unit ready for training by the time he came back.

"Yes sir." Nobu answered,while he turned to leave, ready to carry out his commanding officer's orders, only to stop just before leaving the office. He looked back at his captain,noticing how rattled,and flushed his face appeared. The trembling state of his legs,and hands were worrisome, it was as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The third seat was concerned for his lieutenant. Nobu had deep reverence for this man. Shuuhei took on the ambitious,at times improbably, task of holding the squad together, which had been running like a fine oiled machine for last few months. Shuuhei did this without criticism,and ruled with a firm,yet fair, authority. Without complaint, he would do anything to help the young lieutenant out. His entire squad would, If only Shuuhei wasn't so prideful. Shuuhei never did ask for help. A few of the lower seated officers just shrugged it off,but Nobu couldn't do that, not anymore. Shunnhei was so stricken with malnutrition,and exhaustion, that he couldn't even affectively pretend there wasn't a problem. How could Nobu not say anything?"Pardon me for asking sir" He hesitated momentarily. "but are you alright? Do you need anything before you leave for your meeting?" Nobu asked tentatively, with worry in his eyes.

"I'm alright, thank you." He closed this eyes for a moment, trying to push through another dizzy spell. "You're dismissed." Shuuhei replied.

Nobu waited for a second before adverting his eye downwards. "Very well sir, I will have the squad ready by the time you get back." The third seat bowed,and left the room.

Shuuhei slowly let out the breath he had been holding, and leaned against the desk, while giving his trembling a break from the weight of his weak body. "Shit." Shuuhei exclaimed to the empty room. After taking another moment to collect himself, Shuuhei started on his way to the first squad meeting hall. His body felt like it was running on auto pilot, as he let his mind wonder for a bit. Not good, he had to focus, surely his frail stature would be a clear give away of weakening constitution. His own officers were starting to notice his slowly declining health. Most of them still thought it was do to all the paperwork,and responsibilities he had, and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want them to worry , but it was too late for that. People were already worried about him,and it wasn't just his friends. Little did he know, just how many people had noticed his slow decline.

The young lieutenant arrived at the meeting hall,only to stop,and grab onto the doorframe, as another dizzy spell came about, his mind became opaque. He blinked a few times, while he looked around, hoping no one had noticed his slip up. Then, he steadied himself before entering the room. He found Captain Kyoraku,and Captain Ukitake in a deep conversation with Captain Unohana,and Yoruichi Shihoin. The other captains,and lieutenants were all assembled, now waiting for the Captain-Commander's arrival.

"Good Morning Captain Kyoraku, Captain Ukitake, Captain Unohana, Lady Yoruichi." Shuuhei greeted,and bowed to each respectively. The three captains returned the greeting with placid smiles.

"HA! Shuuhei, you're way to stiff! Stop with all the formalities." Yoruichi chided the young lieutenant,and slapped him on the back, making him stumble forward awkwardly, despite the mild nature of the slap. He noticed the surprised looks on the captains faces, as their eyes cascaded over the lieutenant's weakling appearance.

"Sorry." Shuuhei recovered, clearing his throat. "I trained too hard yesterday,and I am a little sore" Shuuhei fibbed sheepishly. The lies came to easily to his lips now. Though, they wouldn't work anymore. Even he was starting to realize it, no one was buying his song,and dance. He knew it now more than ever, that he had to cure what had been ailing him. The only problem being, he had no clue how to do so.

"You might want to take it easy there, Shuuhei. You're looking a little pale. If your not careful, you might get paler than Jushiro." Captain Kyoraku teased in good humor, while studying the young lieutenant in front of him. Who did this young man think he was fooling? Certainly not Kyoraku. They had all noticed his spell upon arriving,but choose to ignore it. Not wanting to embarrass the man at such an impromptu moment. _Too mush training my ass_. The older man thought, as he looked to his fellow captains, seeing they were all coming to the same conclusion. This had gone on long enough,and if Shuuhei continued to refused to ask for help, they'd have no choice but to step in,and make him take a break.

"I will be alright sir. Thank you." Shuuhei emoted meekly, before he turned towards the front of the room, just in time for Captain-Commander to enter.

"Thank you all for coming so quickly." Yamamoto addressed the room,and continued speaking in his clear authoritative voice that brokered no argument. "The last few months have been very hard on you all,and I want to commend you all for your hard work,and detection in keeping the Gotei 13 running as smoothly as you have. Yet, a problem still remains, we have three empty captain positions that required filling. Today, those positions have been filled."

Every captain and lieutenant in the room tensed at these words, mixed with apprehensiveness,and excitement at the ideas of unknown new comers. After all the carnage left from the war, the captains couldn't help,but be cautious,and slightly nervous. It seemed impossible to trust anyone these days , the effects of the missing captains were yielded everywhere, people were at their breaking points. So, despite the skepticism, there were no complaints.

"Please enter, Squad Three Captain, Rojuro Otoribashi." The Captain-Commander called. The doors opened,then the long haired blond walked into the room, and bowed before taking his place in front of his lieutenant, Izuru Kira. There were quiet murmurs traveling around the room, but it was all just static to Shuuhei ears.

"Please enter, Squad Five Captain, Shinji Hirako" The Captain-Commander called. The doors opened yet again. In walked the lankly lackluster man, bowing before taking his place in front of his lieutenant, Momo Hinamori. The murmurs were not so quiet now, but still, Shuuhei heard none of it, as the static in his ears grew louder, and his vision became obscured once more.

"Please enter, Squad Nine Captain, Kensei Muguruma." The Captain-Commander called out. As the doors opened the silver haired man walked into the room, making eye contact with Shuuhei. The younger man had the look of a sick deer in the headlights before his eyes rolled up into his head, and he started to fall. The older man's face was a strange cocktail of happy, and sickly nervous. That changed quickly, his eyes donning shock,and concern at the boys limp body. His body moved before his mind even registered what he was doing. The man didn't bow to the assembly, instead, he flash stepped to Shuuhei's side,and caught him just before he hit the floor face first.

"The Hell kid?" Kensei swore at boy, then growled slightly, remembering Shuuhei was out cold.

"Please lay him down Kensei. I need to check his vitals." Retsu Unohana spoke gently,yet firmly. Upon looking over his shoulder, he saw the sweet smile,yet somehow intimidating eyes of the healer. Any protest he might have made vanished from his mind,as he quickly laid the boy down. The healer kneeled down,and sighed heavily. "You stubborn boy, why did you let yourself get this far?" Retsu chastised quietly, momentarily taking in his figure with sadness. She started to check over Shuuhei. When she was done, she stood up,and turned to Kensei. "I will be taking him to the Squad Four relief center for further healing. I believe you should come with me, there are a few things you need to know,and understand about your lieutenant." She spoke quietly, her words to be for his ears only. The healer turned to the Captain-Commander, and bowed. "I am sorry for the disturbance sir,but I need to leave with lieutenant Shuuhei,and Captain Muguruma." She apologized,yet leaving no room for argument.

"Sorry,sir." Kensei bowed, repeating the formality.

"It is alright. Go Retsu,and Kensei, take care of Shuuhei quickly. He is needed in his squad ...dismissed."

Kensei picked up Shuuhei bridal style,and Retsu gave him a quizzical look. He looked down at the healer,and frowned,waiting for her to lead the way. A tick started to go off in Kensei's eye, as she remained still.

"WHAT?" Kensei barked, finally loosing his patience. "It's not like i'm hurting him! He doesn't have any broken bones or anything! The stupid kid just fainted." He continued in a huff, but slowly lost his steam as the healer just turned,and motioned for him to follow.

When the doors closed behind them, more than one person laughed at Kensei's display,but none harder than Shinji,and Mashiro, who was just now getting noticed by the others. Almost as soon as it began, the laughter dissipated. Yes,they thought Kensei was funny,but Shuuhei's situation wasn't.

"Um, Mashiro, what are you doing here?" Captain Ukitake asked placidly. "Not that it isn't nice to see you."

The green haired woman didn't miss a beat when answering. "I am Kensei's lieutenant, aren't I? Where he goes, I go!" She proclaimed happily, as she touched a finger to her lips at the looks of shock,and anger mixed among the room. "Don't worry, I am not going to take his place. I am just here for the fun." She finished with a smile on her face, turing to flash step out of the room, leaving the assembly more than raddled by the meeting's events.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello all I am back, and quicker than i thought I would be! I would like to thank everyone that reviewed, followed and/or favorited my story so far. You all are the reason I am doing this (besides my deep love for this pairing ~_^) and it brings me such joy that you all are enjoying it so far. Also I want to thank my beta Ashesofthefirststar for finding all my horrible mistakes! You are a lifesaver! That being said I feel like it is my obligation to remind you that updates will not come as quickly now that the holidays are upon us but I promise I will try to not leave you hanging for too long. It will still be awhile before our two boys really get together but at least they are in the same place and they can't run from their problems anymore? right? ...*evil laugh*

Warning: mentions of blood and gore but nothing to bad as well as the usual Kensei style violence and bad language

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Kensei paced the length of Captain Unohanas office while he waited for the healer to finish examining Shuuhei. His enraged temperament was clear by his movements. Veins bulged from his flexed arms and lines etched in his forehead, caused by a deep scowl. To top it all off he had a death glare that would make Byakuya Kuchiki proud. Everything about the man screamed, 'leave quick if you want to live'. To his satisfaction, it was a very effective means of intimidations, seeing it scared a seated officer that had come to offer him tea, enough so Kensei didn't have to say a word. He had to hand it to the officer, at least he didn't wet himself or faint.

At the thought of fainting, Kensei huffed out of frustration. He shouldn't have had to be there, he should of been with his squad. Him and a healthy Shuuhei should of been with their squad. Unfortunately, that kid was unconscious and certainly not healthy. All his huffing and indigent glares amped up his rage, making it easier to ignore a much more intense emotion, one that made him uneasy:Concern. His concern made him angry but that wasn't all. He was angry that no one had stopped Shuuhei from getting that bad, angry that he hadn't been there to knock some sense in him,and more than anything,mad that he felt guilty for not being there, like it was his duty or something.

As he felt the approach of Captain Unohana he stopped his pacing but the death glare and scowl remained in place.

The graceful captain entered her office, sat down behind her desk, and looked to the silver haired man with a gentle smile on her face, "please have a seat, captain." She gestured to the seat across from her, to which Kensei replied by remaining standing and scowling deeper at the woman.

Undeterred, the female captain's eye's took on a slightly sharper look, though her smile remained gentle."Kensei," she command in a gentle voice that matched her smile,yet her eyes promised pain if he didn't do as she asked.

Kensei sat down with haste,dropping the death glare in sync. He knew it wouldn't work on the woman in front of ,his arms remained crossed and he kept his tense disposition. Outwardly, his posture said he would do as she asked but that didn't mean he had to like it. He needed to hear what she had to say and he knew she wouldn't say anything until he calmed down.

"Hanatarou, would you be so kind and bring us some tea?" she asked in a motherly voice. Shortly after, the same officer that Kensei had scared earlier brought the tea into the room, bowed,and quickly left the two captains alone.

Captain Unohana's gentle smile never left her face as she stared down the man across from her. Unohana's notorious smile was unnerving. No wonder people chose to never cross her. He wanted to know what was going on but she seemed to be in no hurry to divulge the information he so desperately needed.

Kensei sighed and uncrossed his arms, trying to appease the women. She had won this contest of wills, for Kensei's curiosity won out over his need to intimidate her. He should of know better, that was a battle no one could win.

Satisfied that she now had the man's full attention,her disposition became more docile. "Shuuhei is fine, captain. He fainted due to his extremely low reiatsu levels brought on by exhaustion and slight malnourishment. I have started him on a reiatsu regimen as well as an IV. All he needs once he's awake is food and rest. Soon,he should be physically fine." She watched Kensei closely, a flash of relief filled his orbs before he grimaced slightly.

"What do you mean physically?" Kensei's tied to hide the concern in his gruff voice and failed to his avail.

"Kensei, I need you to know that while some of what I am about to tell you is fact, some things are pure speculation but I need you to listen till I am done. Then you may go see your lieutenant or you may go to your squad. I leave that up to you." She looked at Kensei intensely. "I must warn you, if you choose to stay, we will need to inform your squad and you must also try and refrain from scaring my squad members or any other visitors that may come and see Hisagi-san." She stated in a gentle voice but her authoritative eyes gave no room for questions. Kensei's eyes widened as he shivered a bit, nodding in confirmation

"You and I both know everyone has suffered a great deal from the treachery of Aizen and his cohorts,but I don't think anyone was effected more than Lieutenant Hisagi. Perhaps you don't know this, but Hisagi grooming was started as far back as the soul reaper acadamy. Before he could become an official soul reaper, his destiny was chosen. Knowing Hisagi's admiration for you,Tounsen used that to his advantage, using your mutual association with the same squad to earn the young man's trust." She let out a slight sight, taking in the somewhat pained eyes in front of her. "When he first arrived he was an eager,smart,and determined young man with a lot of fire in him. He asked around about you. He said he wanted to thank you.." Her sentence trailed off as she stared off nostalgically,being brought back by the sight of a lopsided grin on Kensei.

Clearing her throat, she continued, "Shuuhei was placed in charge of a real world scenario in his sixth year. To make a long story short, it went horribly wrong. Aizen and Gin were there to rescue the group, the survivors, I mean. It was all according to their was just the beginning of the fear assimilation and self doubt they instilled into him. Shuuhei blamed himself for what happened and Tousen solidified it when he told the boy he had made a mistake. It was also at this point that Shuuhei was taught to fear his zanpakuto.

She sipped her tea while looking at the surprised man, who was hanging on her every word. It became clear this was his first time hearing all of this. "Tousen's teachings were like night and day to yours, Kensei and because he was the captain of your old squad,Shuuhei absorbed everything he said without question. In no time at all, he became the lieutenant. Surely it was great achievement but he was no longer the fiery youth. Something has changed in him, ever so slightly. He became a somber quiet man that chooses to rely on his brain and Kido. After losing his first mentor and having to kill his next, Shuuhei was abandoned in the left over rubble that was his psyche. Now, he's completely unable to deal. In fact, I'm positive he doesn't cope, I'm not even sure if he knows how to."

The women's sweet smile was traded for a somber glare. Her blank still face looked hard as stone as she continued,"I am afraid that is all we know for sure. He refuses to ask for help with anything. The only thing I know of is, at one point, he did turn to drinking." Letting out an exasperated sigh, she pressed her hands in a praying position. "Thankfully that was short bottom line is, we need to help Shuuhei and we won't know how to do that until he wakes up."

Standing in hast, she placed her palms on her desk,and gave the man a serious look,"would you like to go see him now?" When he merely nodded, she examined him pensively."I must warn you, if you're to chose to be there for Shuuhie, you must resolve yourself. At this critical junction he can't have false hope. He needs a stead fast mentor to undo what Tousen did, someone who isn't going to manipulate or abandoned him." She lowered her voice slightly, taking on a more placid temperament."Surely it will be extremely challenging,still, I have no doubt you can succeed."She paused momentarily, letting her word's of warning sink into the man,"but if you couldn't commit to such a task, I understand. You're his captain but that doesn't make you responsible for his if you chose to not help him through this, please do not bother visiting at all. I'm positive that would only do more damage."

The atmosphere was stifling,so much so,Kensei just stood in silent puzzlement for a few long moments. After letting everything absorb,Kesnei set his jaw and clenched his fist,continuing with clear intentions."I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure, let's get on with it."

She studied the man a bit more before coming to a quick decision. Upon summing a hell butterfly, she whispered quick instruction before sending it on it's way, "your third seat should be here shortly, at which time you can give your instructions to him. He's a wonderful soul reaper, so your squad is in good hands." She reassured the man and walked to her office door,gesturing for Kensei to follow her.

Processing down the hall, she stopped just a few doors down the hall from her own office. She opened the door and ushered Kensei into the room. "Stay as long as you like," the healer spoke quietly,leaving the room quickly.

Kensei stood just inside the room staring at the young found him self surprisingly worked up by the scene of the boy laying on the bed, as he felt a jolt of pain fill his chest cavity. He was beyond upset, to the point he felt like a nervous wreck. Not just from the revelation of what brought Shuuhei to this point but also his part in it couldn't elude thoughts that he was somehow responsible, that he should have been there for the man.

Kensei frowned while thinking back to the meeting earlier this morning. At first, Kensei had been furious when the Captain-Commander offered them the choice of returning to the Soul Society. The bitterness of betrayal still fresh in his mind, he was almost offended by the mere suggestion. Then,out of no where, the image of Shuuhei's defeated face flashed in his mind again. Surprising everyone, even himself, he was the first to accept. He wasn't doing this for soul society and he told the old man as such. He had his own reasons for doing this but he wouldn't share them at this time. The Captain-Commander didn't look happy about Kensei's attitude but he accepted without question.

Kensei approached the unconscious soul reaper while taking in his frail state. His customary frown firmly in place, he shook his head at the sight of the boy, wanting Shuuhei to wake so he could repirmand the kid for his carelessness. He had dark circles around his eyes, was noticeably thinner,and pasty in comparison to his usual olive skin tone. All the signs pointing to the fact that the kid had been neglecting health and Kensei didn't like it nor accept it.

This boy was his main reason for accepting Captain-Commanders offer. Getting away from Mashiro had been another, much to his chagrin, that plan had failed miserably. Mashiro had loudly proclaimed that Kensei couldn't leave her behind. She rolled around on the floor like a child until Yamamoto had given in. In all honesty, he didn't really think getting away from his former lieutenant and pain of his existence would be that simple. He was right. The green haired menace would follow him anywhere whil continuing her favorite pastime:torturing her captain.

Kensei gave a sigh of defeat as his thoughts went back to the problem at hand; Shuuhei. Kensei decided then and there that he would help pull Shuuhei out of the pit of shit that had became his life. The pit that had consumed him without Shuuhei's knowledge or involvement,just a mere side effect of Tousen manipulative actions. As he took in the kicked puppy look, the silver haired man resolved him self for the challenges to come. Despite his mental declaration that this was something he decided on just in that moment, if he was being honest,the matter of helping Shuuhei was never a about Shuuhei got under the man's skin in unexplainable it was their history but for some reason, when Kensei thought of Shuuhei, all he wanted to do was protect was as natural as breathing, his body decided before his mind could even rationalize rather or not the choices were sound. Though Kensei was never know for his rationality.

Kensei sat down in one of the chairs situated in the corner of the room. He proceeded to get lost in his thoughts. He was so riddled with ideas on how to help his new lieutenant that he didn't notice the slightly elevated heart rate coming from one of the monitors. How long he'd sat there was unknown but the door opening suddenly finally brought him out of his plight. He studied the young man who had entered the room. He was tall and lean with a much more muscular build than the unconscious man on the bed but nowhere near as much as Kensei's own brawny stature. He had chestnut brown hair that framed his face and bright green eyes that shined through the shadowy darkness. The darkness of the room hid Kensei away in the corner,where he took the opportunity to scope out the unknown new comer.

"Lieutenant Hisagi," the young man whispered. His voice was stifled by concern,straining to veil the worry in his was obvious to Kensei this man was worried sick,yet was trying to keep a certain decorum.

The man gazed down at the Lieutenant,his green eyes glimmering with intense look made Kensei question the man's relationship with Shuuhie. He called him by his formal title, yet by the concern in his voice and the warmth radiating form his eyes, it was unclear who this man was to Shuuhie. Why did he care so deeply and why did he have that look in his eyes? A look that signified concern well beyond that of a comrade.

Of course,that only brought up a more difficult question;Why did Kensei care so much? Wasn't it the same thing? Though surly,he doesn't look at Shuuhei in such an affection way.

'Right?'

After a few brief moments of silence,the chestnut haired man set his jaw and shook his head in frustration,"look what you've done to your self. I told you to take it easy." He spoke the rest in a whispered tone. "Don't you think people might worry about you, the squad, that I might be-" He cut him self off,as if the next words were to much to say."I'll handle the squad,I don't want you worrying about anything."

Kensei's understood now that this young man was his third seat, hence the respectful title. Kensei remained hidden in the shadows, watching with a critical eye. This was until a soft whine came from the seemingly unconscious man on the bed. At this, he observer the third seat let his hand hover over Shuuhei's, as if considering rather to hold it or not.

Kensei moved in his seat reasons unbeknown to him, the sight of the enamored man even considering to touch Shuuhei in such an intimate manner made Kensei feel a jolt of anger.

"Who's there?" the third seat asked. Now staring in Kensei's direction, he had a somewhat comical look of surprise and Kensei took it as a small prize. He stood up and walked towards the bed intending to finally introduce himself but the grin that had been brought to his lips soon vanished as his attention was once more directed to his Lieutenant. The kid was shifting and twitching in his sleep, his brows pulled down in a deep scowl, and his breath coming out in stifled huffs. The kid was dreaming, and by the looks of it, it wasn't a good dream. The man across from Kensei reached forward to wake the sleeping Lieutenant, to which Kensei stopped him with a small shake of his head, and a stern look in his eyes.

"Captain Muguruma is correct, third seat Susuki Nobu," the quiet voice startled Kensei and the brunette across from him. Neither of them had heard Captain Unohana enter the room. The female captain looked at the confused third seat and smiled gently, "It is best to let him wake on his own in this situation. If we tried to force him now he could lash out. Also, these terrors are his brains way of working through trauma, it really no one's place to intervene in the brain's automatic copping mechanism," she clarified and came to a stop next to the third seat.

Kensei could only watch as Shuuhei took sharp shattered breaths and sparse tears slipped out from the corners of his tightly closed eyes. Kensei was shocked, as his body once again moved without consulting his brain. Shuuhei's hand shot out and Kensei grasped it tightly. Something he was ready the beat up his third seat for even contemplating just moments prior. Accompanying his jolting limbs, Shuuhei woke in a panic,breathing as if he was just drowning. Kensei looked tentatively into a pair of wide terrified eucalyptus eyes.

"...Kid?" Kensei asked tenderly.

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While the passive observers took note of Shuuhei's agitated state, they had no true understanding of the terrors playing out within the young mans psyche.

Shuuhei was floating along in darkness. He looked out into the barren ebony, his heart accelerating from fear of what he knew was soon to come. It always came. He paused and reach out with his senses. Normally the darkness hid monsters of his past , ones that he didn't want to see or think about. Surprisingly, this darkness felt different. Something in the atmosphere has shifted from it's usual forboding nothingness. This darkness had warmth to it, as if it was holding him in a gentle embrace. He felt safe, secure,and at peace. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this way. It became all to easy to lose himself in the unfamiliar sensation, but as if to mock him, that peace was shattered as he felt his body being pulled from that embrace and thrown into darkness where his monsters reside.

Shuuhei snapped his eyes shut but it was too late, the scene before him was all to real as his mind automatically brought to life the images his eyes didn't want to take in. His senses were consumed by the shrill wails of falling comrades, the scent of blood and ripped flesh, and the site of mangled building cluttering the fake Karakura town. The chaotic tangle of fallen buildings partially blocked his view of his comrades. He saw silver hair, amber eyes, and a maniacal grin, making him feel a fleeting glimmer of that precious warmth once more. Only this time, the warmth has an edge to it. It still made him feel safe as he tried to hold onto it, but that warmth was shattered by words that echoed in his brain, 'I have no one I need to talk to'.

He tried to will his mind to wake up or get his body to fight, terrified of what he knew would come next. He could do nothing to stop it as he felt his sword pierce the mangled form below him that had once been his former Captain and mentor. He saw his Captain transform back into a more recognizable form and was for a moment, he was , even that was taken away from him as Tousen was slashed to pieces by his own leader. He saw and felt his captain's blood slash all over him, painting his body with the feeling of death. He tried to wipe it all away but more kept coming. In the back of his mind he heard his zanpaktou laugh, for he was enjoying the carnage. Shuuhei was paralyzed by fear, the blood continued to rise until he felt like he was drowning in it. The overwhelming sense of drowning urged his body to move but he only succeeded in slipping further into the sea of blood. He couldn't stop the tears from slipping from his tightly closed eyes as he struggled to breath, his lungs being filled with a sticky warmness. He was getting desperate, as a last ditch effort, he shot his hand up and broke the surface of the blood.

As he broke the surface, he felt overcame with the same warmness, like a bright ray of sun washing over him, mixed with a flash of intense amber before his world went dark.

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Wide amber eyes were the first thing Shuuhei saw upon waking. He wasn't sure they were real at first because they were the same eyes as his dream, but upon feeling the reiatsu, he knew he wasn't alone. His eyes darted everywhere, taking in nothing, yet,even in his sleep clouded and terrified mind, he could tell there was more than one person in the room. He slowly became aware of his shattered breathing, as well as his shaking body, willing himself to calm down but his body wouldn't listen to him. He then felt the wetness on his checks, a sure sign that he had been crying and he felt embarrassed that he wasn't alone. His mind then registered the questioning voice. He knew that voice and who it belonged his eyes shot back to those amber eyes, he slowly started to take everything in around him. He became aware of Captain Unohana,his third seat and then the man in front of him.

To his mortification, he noticed the silver haired man had ahold of one of his hands, causing him to yank his hand away in retaliation. He looked down in hopes of hiding the embarrassing blush he was sure was visible, if the heat on his checks and ears was anything to go by and asked the first thing that came to his mind. "What the hell...happened?" his asked, his voice cracking, stifled by dryness .

Captain Unohana offered him a glass of water that had been placed on the bed side table for when he woke up. "You fainted during the captain's and lieutenant's meeting earlier this morning," she answered his inquiry and continued in a stern but quiet voice. "Your body could not keep up with the pace you were going at, so it shut down on you, Lieutenant Hisagi."

Shuuhei looked at Captain Unohana apologetically and the healer gave him her gentle smile. "I am not here to scold you, Hisagi-san. I am only here to advise you that you need to rest and eat more. I would advise you to take a few days off from work, but I will leave the final decision up to your captain," as her sentence trailed off, she gestured to Kensei.

At her last words, Nobu's head snapped up to look at the silver haired man. "Captain!?" the third seat asked in bewilderment as he studied the man in front of him. His eyes slowly taking in the mans features until he got to the tattoo on his chest. His viridescent orbs widened, shifting back and forth between Shuuhei's face and the mans chest.

Shuuhei could read the question in Susuki's eyes and answered his unspoken question. "Yeah, it's the same." He went into a formal introduction in the hopes that he could avoid being asked by either man why he had it. "Captain Kensei Muguruma, meet Susuki Nobu,the third seat of our squad" the silver haired man gave a small nod in greeting. "Susuki Nobu, meet Captain Kensei Mug-"

Shuuhei was interrupted by Kensei. "Kensei," he corrected gruffly and continued at the questioning looks he got from both his lieutenant and his third seat. "You can call me sir, captain, Captain Kensei, or just plain Kensei. I could give two shit's about formality. As long as my orders are carried out in a timely manner and without question, we're good. Though,I'll let you know now, the only thing I care about is the safety and well being of my squad members. If at any point you feel my orders could be altered be better suit that need , by all means bring it to my attention. Sometimes I have a tendency to get a bit...Carried away, and might need someone to take me down a peg." Kensei finished his speech with a huff of frustration and a scowl pointed in the direction of the bewildered looks on the two men's faces. Looking at Unohana didn't help him any, as she looked like she was trying not to laugh.

He growled, looking around for someone to vent his frustration on, only to spotted a certain green haired menace. "MASHIRO," he roared, making the two men jump.

Said green devil pranced into the room, jumped up on the bed, and gave an unsuspecting Shuuhei a bone crushing hug while yelling in his ear. "Hey Shuuhei, Long time no see!" Her eyes went wide as she was pulled from the bed and flung viciously on the floor. She looked up at a pair of eyes looking down at her with a death glare, which she promptly ignored and went into her childish pout mode. "What was that for stupid,Kensei? All I was doing was saying hi. I know who he is too, you know! You're to selfish, you want him all to yourself! Stupid selfish Kensei!" She whined and rolled around on the floor.

"My god woman! Would you SHUT THE HELL UP," he roared again and reached down to pick the devil's spawn up to place her on her feet. He realized his mistake too late as her foot kicked his hand away. Kensei looked at the green haired girl on the floor with crazy eyes. "That's it! You are so dead!" He hissed out in a menacing voice, reaching out to strangle the childish woman, but as if he said the magic words, Mashiro was up off the floor and looking at Kensei with a serene smile on her face.

He growled again and straightened up, taking note that all three of the other occupants where trying not to laugh, which didn't help Kensei's mood. "Mashiro I want you to go with Nobu to the squad. Inform them I will be there shortly to introduce myself after I have a little chat with our lieutenant here." His words were growled out and his eyes shifted to the man on the bed as the last word rolled off his tongue. Shuuhei flinched and got that kicked puppy look Kensei hated so much.

Mashiro and Nobu left the room quickly to carry out his order and Captain Unohana left as well after checking his vitals. Kensei sighed and looked at Shuuhei, still seeing that same sad lost look in his eyes,Kensei's temper flared again.

He looked at his Lieutenant through narrowed eyes. "I swear to Kami, Kid! I will beat the shit out of you if you don't stop giving me that look," his voice was strained as he continued. "I didn't save your ass all those years ago just to end up right where I began" Shuuhei flinched and drew back as Kensei punched the wall with the side of his fist and leaned towards him "I don't want to, nor do I like having to, repeat myself but I guess in this case I have to. Maybe this time you will hear me" Kensei closed his eyes and sighed before he opened them again, hard amber eyes looked onto frightened eucalyptus orbs. "Smile, Damn it! You're alive! Be happy!"

Kensei watched as the frightened look in those eyes slowly morphed into disbelief and eventually rage. Kensei grinned and waited for the dam to burst. Admittedly, he much rather see this man with a fiery anger than a somber sadness.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Shuuhei hissed out with pure venom in his voice as he leaned closer to the man, seething with rage.

Kensei laughed to himself. Retsu was right, this boy had fire, it just needed oxygen.

Unperturbed by Shuuhei's rage, Kensei tilted his head and gave Shuuhei his best death glare. "Does it look like I am?" He spat out, equally vehement . Kensei was having a hard time keeping the smile off his face. Getting under Shuuhei's skin in the same manner he did him gave his some sort of joy. Perhaps it felt like a small victory.

Still, he didn't want to take things too far in trying to get the kid to open up. He might end up alienating him instead, so he kept reminding himself he was trying to help him not hurt him. "Come on kid! If you have something to say to me, then say it" The bait was cast. All Kensei needed was for Shuuhei to take the bait.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so late folks but here it is! I want to thank my beta ashesofthefirststar once again for helping me out without you I would probably be still trying to write this chapter! I also want to thank everyone for reviewing and for the favorite/follow they all bring me such joy.**

 **Warnings: bad language**

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Shuuhei's eyes narrowed at the angry man before him as he was filled with malice and resentment. He had placed this man on such a high pedestal that he was unreachable, not even Captain Tousen could live up to the picture of Kensei that Shuuhei had spent years building up. Meeting Kensei was such a paramount moment in Shuuhei life, it altered him and his destiny for ever.

That impression that Kensei imprinted into Shuuhei's mind, he now wore it on his face. A decision he would never regret, simply because that tattoo represented everything he built him self on, everything he believed in.

Yet, despite all of that, Shuuhei couldn't feel anything but a lateen rage at the man's declaration for him to smile. Kensei so obviously didn't care about his well being during the fight with Aizen, so for him to sit there and so simply state that Shuuhei needed to 'smile', as if he knew anything about him, as if he was even allowed to have an opinion of Shuuhei's well being, was more than the man could stomach.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You have no right to tell me how to feel!" Shuuhei boomed out through gritted teeth. His voice was passionate, yet constrained, as he tried to not make a scene in the healing center. Thoughts about the winter war and the words that Kensei had said came flooding back, with these thoughts came the familiar feeling of resentment. He scoffed, "tch- Coming in here, all high and mighty, like you know me, like understand my life." He gave a breathy chuckle before muttering through gritted teeth,"you didn't care then, so what's different now?" He adverted his eyes and grimaced to the side.

Kensei's eyes soften minutely, he wanted to contradict that statement, but knew Shuuhei was nowhere near done with tirade, and figured it was best to let the young man completely unload. Shuuhei noticed the look, still it didn't placate the fiery anger boiling up inside of him. It's was too late to turn back now.

Kazeshini let out a maniacal cackle inside of Shuuhei's head, the chaotic thoughts running through his masters head was music to his very being. His master had been running from his true self for far to long, and if he kept on that path, he was going to degrade their relation to a point of no return, until he was no longer able to hear his masters call. While the spirit didn't particularly like his master at the moment, he could still remember the early years. He knew the boy had been afraid of him, even then, but he had accepted him. The zanpaktou spirit had liked his masters fiery spirt and his determination, for it was something they both had in common. Unfortunately for both of them, the ties between them only further eroded once Tousen had sunk his claws in him. Kazeshini hated the captain for turning his master against him. He had tried to warn the kid, but Shuuhei refused to listen, telling the spirit to mind his own business. Shuuhei only further distanced him self from the spirit, fearing it and what that power meant, constantly shutting out the zonpaktous opinions to the contrary. Did he not understand? Why couldn't he see the truth? Shuuhei was Kazeshini business, the spirit was born from Shuuhei's own soul, to reject the spirt was to reject him self.

Kazeshini had began to think the old Shuuhei was gone forever, but now he could feel the beginnings of a tiny flame being kindled deep within his masters soul, it was small and fitful, but it was there, and the cause was the man before them. Kazeshini didn't know what to think of that, but he decided to give the man a chance, hoping he would draw more of Shuuhei's self out from the void of his soul. If he proved to be like Tousen, then the spirit would step in and make his master listen to reason.

He didn't like the idiot, and they never agreed, but he didn't want to lose him either. Despite Shuuhei's rejection of him, Kazeshini could never truly reject his master. For he was a part of his master. The zanpaktou spirit was aquiver with excitement, now preparing to come back with a vengeance. He saw the fire that was starting to build and he noticed the silver haired man giving it oxygen, this was the perfect opportunity for Kazeshini to blow a little too.

"You weren't there, and you have no idea the horrors I went through," Shuuhei paused and closed his eyes. He pictured his youth and seeing his zanpaktou's spirit for the first time. After a slight shiver, he pushed the memory away.

Kazeshini was no longer laughing, he had been having fun listening to Shuuhei yell, but then that turned back into whining, _'you are no fun at all, master,_ ' the respectful title was laced with bitter sarcasm.

Shuuhei took a shattered breath and continued, "I worked so hard to get into the Gotei 13, but even before I could get there, I learned that you were no longer around," he muttered out, still equally passionate. Shuuhei had always been a straight shooter, so now that had he started, he had to get these feelings out. "I ended up getting this tattoo, I guess I was hopping it would help me carry a part of what you taught me…I don't know, maybe I just wanted to feel like I hadn't lost the first person who truly helped me believe it my self.." His word's fell off as his spate the next ones out like a mouth full of nails,"I built my self off of your ideology, you were my role model..I only hoped to make you proud by being my best…but that plan failed miserably."

Deep in the darkest crevices of Shuuhei's soul, he knew Kensei hadn't left by his own choice. Still, he couldn't help but feel a deep seeded bitterness for the man. He had left, and in his absence, Shuuhei fell apart. He didn't know why, but every synapse in him was blaming Kensei, somehow this had to be his fault…right. "-but losing yo-I mean- what your presence meant in my life, I felt lost, needing instruction…I was torn in two." Now turning his face to meet the intense eyes, he finished,"But you wouldn't know about any of that, would you? Even when you had to opportunity to talk to me your self.." He bite his tongue, holding back the rest of his sentence. "Well, you were there, I don't need to tell you."

' _Pussy_ ,' the spirit berated the man. _'Why am I stuck with such a girly master? Shit even the guy with feathers on his face is more manly than you are!'_

Shuuhei tried to shut out the taunts of his zanpaktou's ringing in his head, and took another deep breath to calm himself, but it didn't work. He opened his tiered eyes, readying his best death glare, but the unusual look of loneliness on his captains face plicated his anger. "Then Captain Tousen…he stepped in, he helped me put the pieces of my soul back together. Because of him, I became stronger, and he is the only reason I got to be where I am today." Shuuhei took notice of the tumultuous frown and the incredulous orbs worn on Kensei's still face. The look had Shuuhei narrowing his eyes as he continued with a sharper tone, "the lieutenant of squad nine."

There was no way in hell Shuuhei was going to let this man blame his captain and mentor for his current situation. His only crime was betraying the soul society for the sake of his revenge. It was Kensei's who didn't care for his well being, who had left him feeling broken, and it was his own fault for not taking better care of himself. Shuuhei sighed, quickly losing his obstinate tone as grief took it's place. "Now I don't even have Captain Tousen to help me," he concluded. All these different emotions were wearing him out. He didn't want to do this anymore. He needed to rest, but it seemed his zanpaktou wasn't quite done tormenting him yet.

Shuuhei stiffened as Kazeshini scoffed inside his head and took great pleasure in bringing to Shuuhei's memory the sight of them spearing the monstrosity that Tousen had turned into. _'Our finest moment, I was proud of you that day, Shinigami_.'

The vision brought a tear to Shuuhei's eye, one that he could not stop from cascading down his cheek. Shuuhei closed his eyes and hung his head as he mumbled out in a weak and anguished filled voice. "I am.. not.. a murderer."

Kazeshini growled out in exasperation, _'we were born for this, shinigami, you need to accept it, accept me like you once did_.' The spirit sighed as he continued in an almost pleading tone, _'.. before it's too late.'_

Kensei was livid, and he wore it on his face. The kid was talking about Tousen as if he was some kind of hero. Was the kid that bllind? Couldn't he see the manipulation behind Tousen's machinations? Instead, he blamed Kensei's for his broken soul, or at least that's what his words were imply. This only brought Kensei to a more frantic level of frustration. He wasn't so much upset about Shuuhei blaming him, he was sure that in some way, he was partially to blame. No, his anger was the result of the hold Tousen still had over the young man. Even after his death, even after his betrayal and the light had been shined on his manipulation, he was still some how controlling Shuuhei. His claws were so sharp that they penetrated through the grave, leaving Shuuhei in complete denial. For he truly believed that his captain's teachings and the person he was molded to become was for his own good. This was only cemented by the traumatic experience of having to take his captain's life, now Shuuhei feared the sharpness of his bade more than ever.

Something told Kensei that there was no need arguing to the contrary right now, Shuuhei would believed what he wanted, and a few words from the man he felt abandoned him would not change that. No, it would take action, and patience. An attribute Kensei was lacking.

His hollow stirred inside his head, being mindful of the situation, Kensei tried to calm himself. The anger ebbed as he watched the tear slid down the young man's cheek, but his hollow continued to act up. Yet, his focus had shifted, and was trying to reach out to Shuuhei. The stirring of his hollow was unnerving to Kensei, but familiar. His hollow hadn't reacted in this way for a long time. The last time was when the two had fought for control. Kensei had learned quickly that his hollow had no problem showing his emotions, a fact that irked Kensei to no end, but through all the fighting they learned they had one thing in common; the determination to protect their family. The hollow was ripping at Kensei's core with a wanton need to protect, Kensei didn't realize how deeply his spirt felt for the boy, maybe more than he did for Kensei. The realization made the silver fox scoff, a decision he regretted almost immediately, knowing the kid would assume he was making fun of him, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Shuuhei's eyes snapped open at the scoff, challenging it with a scowl. "I don't-" Shuuhei was interrupted by a finger pressed to his lips as he looked into bright yellow orbs that seemed to dance with emotion. The young man blinked and shook his head, thinking that he was seeing things, because now he saw the same hard amber that only resulted in warmness.

Kensei pinned Shuuhei with a stern look. "I know you have more to say, and trust me, you will have your chance, but right know, I need to clear up some misunderstandings." Kensei took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he removed his finger from Shuuhei's lips.

Even though he had claimed it was his turn, he didn't know were to begin. It took a few minutes for the silver haired man to collect his thoughts, but then he decided to start with his most obvious and recent of mistakes. "I don't ...not care," he growled out and stole a sideways glance at Shuuhei, who just cocked a confused eyebrow.

The look set Kensei on the preverbal edge as he crossed his bulging arms over his chest and started pacing along the bed.

 _'Shit! The kid isn't going to make this easy for me, is he?_ ' Kensei thought to himself, huffing out in frustration as his hollow cackled evilly inside his head and Tachikaze silently berated him, something Kensei could just sense from the spirit.

Kensei threw his arms up in defeat. "Fuck it," he bellowed. As he felt his anger and frustration rising within him, he noticed the alarmed look in Shuuhei's eyes, which he choose to ignore. "I'm not good with this kind of shit, and I warn you now, I am going to say stuff that will piss you off, and i'm not talking about just right now. I can be a real asshole! Sorry, but that's just how I am." Kensei took a deep breath of resignation before he continued in a gruff voice. "Never, not even for one second, did I wish," he shook his head in frustration. "Did I want for things to go down the way they did. I'm no hero, kid. I was just doing my job, and If things had gone differently, I probably wouldn't have remembered you right away, but unfortunately, I lost everything that night." Kensei scowled and narrowed his eyes again as he thought back to that faithful night one hundred years ago. Looking again to the young man before him, he took notice of the pandaemonium of emotions swirling in his eyes. He was glaring back at him with eyes filled with slight fear, lots of anger, hurt, and confusion. "Everything except the memory of you.." Kensei's lip's twitched upwards at the look of surprise on Shuuhei's face.

Kensei stopped his pacing and studied the young man before him. "I noticed you kid, on the battlefield, and the only reason I refused the offer to talk to anyone was because," he paused, choosing his next words carefully. "It looked like," Kensei empathized the words and continued, "I didn't need to say anything. You were alive, a little worse for wear perhaps, but alive, and you had become strong. The only thing I was worried about seemingly didn't happened! You don't know how proud that made me," he finally emoted the words he had been struggling so hard to find. It was worth it to see the reaction his words had on the young man before him.

Shuuhei was having a hard time keeping up with Kensei's mood swings. His exasperated mind and body didn't help either, but slowly, Kensei's words registered in his head and he couldn't stop or fight the small smile and light blush from creeping on his face. He noticed that he could no longer look Kensei in the eyes. While he had been yelling at the man, he had had no problem staring him down. His anger and frustration had taken over, reducing his fear to a tiny speck in the back of his mind. Now, even if Kensei looked grumpy and fierce, the kind words and the realization that he had yelled at his new captain made his temperament quite demure as he felt shame digging at him.

 _'Stop acting like a girl, you pansy ass shinigami, grow a pair,_ ' Kazeshini sneered inside Shuuhei's mind and for once, Shuuhei listened and looked over at the silvered haired man. The site that met his eyes vaporized any thought from his mind. All he could do was stare, mouth agape in shock. Kensei was smiling. It wasn't an evil grin or a smirk, but neither was it one of those smiles that could light up a room. It was just your average, every day, run of the mill smile. The thing that surprised Shuuhei was, since the meeting earlier, then after waking up here, Kensei hadn't smiled once; He didn't even think Kensei had smiled the day he saved him. Shuuhei shook his head and looked at the man again before frowning a bit. The fleeting smile was gone in an instant as a slight scowl took it's place. Had it even been there in the first place? Perhaps Shuuhei was just delusion in his exasperated state.

This was it. This was the reason he was here, the reason he came back. Kensei smiled, but that smile was short lived as he thought about his next words and how they would hurt, but he knew he needed to say them. His scowl was back in place when he started to speak, "but I was wrong…"

 _'Yup, Kensei, you're an ass_ ,' he thought to himself as he saw the hurt return with a vengeance in Shuuhei's eyes.

Kensei snapped, "dammit kid! You said it yourself just a few moments ago, you're broken in two, right?" Kensei huffed out a breath and continued after the small nod he got in reply. "I'm not saying you aren't strong or that I am no longer proud of what you have become. I'm angry that you got dragged into this whole mess. I didn't want that for you. The way I see it, you got the worse end of the deal." Kensei scoffed at the confused look in the young mans eyes. "Kid, all I got was an asshole of a hollow in my head and forced to leave the only home i'd ever known. You, on the other hand, got stuck with a, not only once, but two time, backstabbing asshole of a Captain." Kensei's word's had a bitter edge to them, and the sudden rise of Shuuhei's reiatsu didn't help his anger. "I can tell this subject is going to be a problem for us," Kensei glared, "you might have been able to come to terms with what that man did to you, or at least you can forgive him, but I'm not mature enough to do that."

 _'Careful Kensei_ ,' Tachikaze pleaded with his master, Kensei inwardly spat back, _'I know_.'

Kensei closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down, and when he opened them again, he looked at Shuuhei with amber eyes filled with a century's worth of hurt of his own. "The worst part about all this mess is, for one shinning moment, I thought that you had escaped his grasp, only you didn't, and you don't even realize it."

Kensei sighed bitterly at the hurt and confused expression on the young man's face as he thought to himself, _'Did you notice, Shuuhei? This whole time you blamed me and yourself for what has become of you, but not once did you blame him.'_

He continued, "I will be the first to admit, I've made some mistakes, and I will make more, trust me… and because you let yourself get this far gone," Kensei waved his hands to the room, indicating what he was referring to. "I am sorry, but you're no longer blameless. Still, I will be damned if I let only the two of us continue to take all the blame." Shuuhei looked at Kensei completely discombobulated and Kensei pulled out his maniacal grin before he continued. "I can tell by the confusion on your face that you don't understand right now, but trust me, you will soon."

Kensei went into captain mode and began barking orders. "Lieutenant Shuuhei Hisagi, as of this moment, you are on a two week sick leave. In that time, get plenty of food and sleep. If you have any problems doing either one of those, get help from someone. If you wish to train with your zanpaktou, do so, but after regular working hours are over the training stops as well. Additionally, under no circumstances are you allowed to do any work, none what so ever, that includes the bulletin. After the two weeks are up, I am going to show you a whole new meaning to the word training. Do I make myself clear?"

Shuuhei couldn't stop the automatic response, "yes sir!"

Kensei placed a hand on Shuuhei's shoulder. "Get some rest kid." Kensei's eyes were unreadable when Shuuhei looked at him again, but he didn't dwell much on that, he was just happy the man wasn't grinning anymore. That look scared the shit out of him. Shuuhei nodded his head at his Captain's request before Kensei squeezed his shoulder and left his room. Shuuhei could tell there were more people outside his room and he felt slightly embarrassed at the thought of what they might have heard. He heard someone speak up just as the door closed behind Kensei. "Damn, Kensei, i've never heard you speak that much, in like ever." He also heard Kensei yell back, "shut up, Shinji." There was more muffled voices, but he ignored them all until he heard Captain Unohana say, "I am sorry, you can all visit Lieutenant Hisagi later, at the moment, he needs his rest."

The door opened, and Shuuhei watched the healer check him over before she instructed him to lay down. "I am going to place a sleeping kidou on you, Lieutenant. Rest assure, you will have a dreamless sleep," she continued at the panicked look in Shuuhei's eyes. "After you wake and have something to eat, you will be allowed to return home. Now close your eyes and empty your mind or the kidou will not work." Shuuhei closed his eyes and thought about the conversation he and his new captain had. Kensei was right, he was nothing like Tousen. Shuuhei shook his head at the bad train of thought. This man was going to take some getting use to.

After he remembered he needed to clear his mind, he felt the gentle fingers of the sleep spell enter his mind and he was asleep long before Unohana had even finished with the chant.

Shuuhei never heard the healer whisper, "you will be alright, Shuuhei, all you need to do is trust in Kensei."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello all! First off, I hope everyone had a great christmas and New Years! I want to thank everyone who followed/favorited my story so far and for the reviews. It brings me so much joy that you are liking it so far. Second I would like to thank my lovely beta for helping me find all my mistakes, your a lifesaver. Last but not least I am sorry this chapter is really short but there is a reason for it! I had originally wanted a much longer chapter but my hand had other ideas! I have carpal tunnel and it started to act up really bad while in the midst of typing this chapter, so to give it a rest, I am splitting my whole chapter into two! Of course with my hand still not up to par yet, the next chapter will be awhile before it is up sorry guys! Please be patient with me! On that note enjoy!**

 **Warning: bad language**

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Susuki Nobu was royally pissed, but in his humble opinion, he was doing a great job of hiding it, as he had little other choice while standing in front of the assemblage of his squad member.

 _'Who was that man?'_ Susuki cringed inwardly as he thought of the look Shuuhei was giving his new captain.

Shuuhei knew him, that was obvious, but who was this man that could make him so uneasy, and more importantly, why did he make him so uneasy? And this women, who was she? The way she hugged Shuuhei as if he was a long lost friend put him on edge.

Thinking back on the women attacking Shuuhei with hugs, he stole a sideways glance at the green haired woman next to him. Ever since he had come back to relay the message that their captain was going to be joining them shortly, she followed him around. While she had not said a word, she managed to form a sense of unease inside him, the same tension he felt around the captain. That unease mixed with the random calls of acknowledgment from a few of the older members of the squad and that serene smile on her face did nothing to improve his mood.

He would not let that show, especially now that he could feel their captain approaching. He looked again at the woman standing next to him and the look she was giving him shot arrows through his composure. It took everything in him not to panic. Her tranquil smile was still in place, but her eyes had a knowing seriousness. ' _Shit!_ ' He thought to himself. Somehow, he knew that she had figured out his deepest secret. He was unsure how or what kind of mystical powers of mind reading she had, but he knew she _knew._ He narrowed his eyes, sending a telepathic like messag that they needed to talk. She just gave a knowing giggle, signifying she understood as she flash stepped to their captains side who had just entered the training grounds.

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Kensei didn't flash step to his division. Instead, he took the much needed time to think, to cool down. The revelation of just how deep Tousen reached inside Shuuhei's psyche, coupled with the fact that Shuuhei was reaping the symptoms of that unyielding grasp, such as nigh terror and malnutrition, was infuriating, but what really irked and discombobulated Kensei was the fact he didn't even know the kid enough to care.

 _'Why am I so upset over this kid? I have saved countless souls before him. What makes him so ...different?'_ ' He cringed inwardly. He rolled his eyes at the reactions of his inner beings, while his hollow laughed openly at him, his zanpaktou spirit just sighed.

The captain sighed in resignation, knowing he knew the answers to his rhetorical questions. Even all those years ago, he had felt the kid's blossoming reiatsu. The kid was destined to be a shinigami, so he could understand why he felt so keen to help the kid out years prior; duty and a healthy dose of curiosity had propelled him into action. Now he didn't have those reasons. So, why did he care so much, what was his reasoning..?

Kensei stopped dead in his tracks at the thought. Was that true? No, he refused to believe that. He saved him from the hollow, but only for him to end up in the clutches of a vengeful traitorous mentor. So, the kid wasn't saved and his duty wasn't over. As if to add insult to injury, that same mentor stunted the boy's growth as a shinigami. Meaning Kensei was still curious as to what his true potential was, for he knew it was bounds beyond where he stood now.

Kensei frowned and closed his eyes, getting lost in his own thoughts. Now he had a reason to help the boy, but was it a legitimate reason, or was he just looking for some reason because of this weird connection he felt towards the boy? If he was to be honest with himself, it didn't have to be him, anyone could step up and help the kid. Would Shuuhei even let anyone help him, being the prideful little shit he was? Kensei thought about that option for a bit and dismissed it just as quickly. The mere thought of someone else forming such a bond with 'his' lieutenant just irritated Kensei more than it probably should've. For some reason, the idea of someone else having that kind of connection with him felt oh-so wrong. Since no one lived up to Kensei's standards, and because he felt like only he should fill that place in the kids life, he would submit to this, but would the boy cooperate, maybe-

"Kensei, that's enough. You're thinking in circles, and it is giving us both a headache!"

As the simultaneous voices of his zanpaktou and hollow rang out, Kensei snapped his eyes open to realize he was inside his inner world. "Tachikaze?" he asked while taking in his familiar surroundings. On closer inspection, he noticed the changes his chaotic thoughts were having on his inner world. The wind that was usually constant, yet gentle had an edge to it, perhaps it was the reason the lakes surface was choppy and the branches of the trees were no longer gently swaying but whipping around, threatening to break from the trunk. "Why did you bring me here?" he questioned his sword spirit, feeling quite irritated by being brought into his inner world without his consent.

"I'm surprised Kensie, it is not like you to second guess yourself. It's especially uncharacteristic of you to be in search for reasons to do something you have already set your mind to," the zanpaktou spirit chided, "You know very well what your unsettled mind can do to this place. I brought you here to remind you of that and help alleviate your doubtfulness"

"What do-" Kensei started to ask, but was interrupted by his hollow.

"To give you a reason, dumb ass!" The hollow barked out and sneered at the indignant glares he got from both the sword spirit and Kensei.

Tachikaze looked back at Kensei and confirmed the hollows crude declaration. ''As our counterpart so eloquently put it, if you must have another reason, we are here to offer you one,"

Kensei observed his zanpaktou and hollow with a narrowed brow and orbs filled with skepticism for a moment before he tilted his head and crossed his arms. "Alright, I'm listening," he stated flatly.

A sad smile graced the sword spirits lips as he took in his master's posture. ' _Such obstinance_ ,' he thought to himself before he continued out loud. "Think back on the time you've spent with Shuuhei and what you learned through the time you spent in the soul society. Your answer should be obvious," Tachikaze replied somewhat enigmatically as he watched his master. He could see the wheels turning and the moment when the inevitable truth hit him like a train. Followed by the impending denial, which was all readable by the man's facial features, if Kensei's furrowed brow and thinned lips were anything to go by.

The zanpaktou continued on, exasperated at his master's stubborn nature. "Kensei, you know it's not so uncommon in the Soul Society for complete strangers to form family units-" Tachikaze closed his eyes and prayed for patience as he was interrupted by two scoffs of amusement.

"HA! What are you trying to say, Tachikaze, that I think of the kid as a son?" Kensei with a mixture of indignation and bemusement. That was preposterous. Unfortunately for Kensei, lost in his amusement, he missed the warning look and slight shake of his head his zanpaktou gave the hollow at his own scoff of amusement, as well as the annoyed roll of his hollows eyes.

"I did not say that, Kensei," the sword spirit stated in a voice full of constrained calmness, trudging on valiantly, hoping his master would see reason. "But you cannot deny that what I say is true. There is a connection between the two of you," Tachikaze paused and let his words sink in and take hold of Kensei.

Tachikaze had to laugh inside. If Mashiro thought she knew her captain well, it was nothing compared to how well the spirit knew his master, which is undoubtably how it should be. He instinctively knew what buttons to push and when, so he knew the exact moment he could continue speaking. "The only question, Kensei, is what are you going do with that connection, are you going to leave it be or are you going to nurture it? Are you going to help the boy or not?" Tachikaze concluded in a stern voice.

Kensei shifted his gaze between his swords spirit and his hollow briefly before setting his jaw and fixing his eyes, realizing he knew the answer from the very beginning, just like his zanpaktou had said. "I am!" he exclaimed in a resolute voice. He noted the smug aura coming from his hollow, but choose to ignore it in favor of his zanpaktou, who seemed to have one more thing to say before he would let Kensei leave his inner world.

"Go forward Kensei, the steps you take now will alter your future irrevocably, have faith in your decision and in us, for we will always be here to guild you," the zonpaktou proclaims as he watched his master fad from sight. When he was gone, the spirit turned on the hollow and gave him a reprimanding scowl. "We agreed not to give him to much information! You saw how hard it was for him to come to terms with merely having a connection with the young man, if he knew the whole truth before he is ready..." the spirit's eyes gapped as he involuntarily shuddered at the thought of Kensei's reaction to the truth. "I know what you want, for I feel it to, the pull that young man has on us is strong. We just have to be patient with them both for now, for neither one of them are ready. Trust me on this one and try to keep yourself in check, please," Tachikaze concluded in a pleading voice.

The only answer the spirit got was a roll of the yellow eyes and a dismissive wave of a bone white hand. He supposed, he was lucky to get that from the volatile being.

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Kensei let out a sigh of contentment as his tumultuous mind was now at ease, he continued on his way to the Ninth squad training grounds in much better spirits. That was until he entered the grounds and a certain green haired woman flash stepped to his side with a devilish grin on her knowing face.


End file.
